The Green Hornet
In 1945 the British managed to
snatch infamous German geneticist Baron Werner Von Frankenhiemer from Berlin
before the Russians. Keen to exploit his pioneering work in mixing organic
beings with machines, he was offered a lock up garage in East Grinstead, a staff
of Jack Russells and as many Green shield stamps as he could carry. The
Baron’s team had found it possible to utilize the inherent characteristics of
animals and produce cyborg warplanes. The team toiled on through the sixties
with modest successes. The Jaguar, Lynx and Puma "O" (organic)
variants were capable of incredible bursts of speed for short periods then
insisted on napping for the rest of the day, the plug was finally pulled after
the Farnborough air show when the only maneuvre the Red Arrows could perform in
their new Gnat-Os was to chase each other around in dizzying circles while the
group as a whole meandered aimlessly above the airfield. The Soviets too had
also halted their organic program after their MIG 15s kept rear ending each
other.
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The Americans always
keen to pour good money after bad enticed Von Frankenhiemer , with an offer of a
condo in Phoenix, lifetime supply of big macs and pepsi and a pick up truck.
With renewed enthusiasm and a greater budget the Baron made leaps and bounds in
his work. After his F15-O and F16-O proved to be outstanding fighters but were
easily distracted from their targets to swoop down on fields and snatch up small
mammals, it was decided to concentrate on strictly Naval fighters The F14-O
proved to be an exceptional in the air superiority role but was known to attack
other members of it’s own squadron and had an alarming habit of backing up to
the carrier superstructure and dumping it’s fuel. Finally an effective
operational plane came in the form of the F18-O. Although armed with a rearward
firing barbed Stinger II missile it’s major weapon is psychological, just the
sight of an "Uberbug" can have grown men flailing their arms in the
air and screaming like girls "keep it away, keep it away". It’s only
drawback being if flown over land has a habit of harassing picnic sites and jam
factories.
Leigh
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