1/1 Scale Ray Gun
Gallery Article by Alvis 3.1
April Fools Day 2003
Are you fed up with
constant incursions and invasions of YOUR home by bug-eyed monsters? Do you tire
of the constant threat to your family, property, and business? Do traditional
firearms fail to keep the threat from space at bay? Well, we here at Zappex
Corp. feel your anger, and boy, do we have a solution for it: The Zarkovski
2XRG! Capable of excising the cranial structure neatly off any Martian within a
30 yard radius!* Never again fear the sound of flying saucers landing over by
the sand pit, when you have the Zarkovski 2XRG hanging on your wall. Merely
break the glass with the handy
attached hammer, and follow the enclosed instructions carefully, and your
neighborhood will be Martian free before you can say "Calamitous Calipers,
Captain!"** That's the Zarkovski 2XRG Anti-Martian Ray Gun device,
available at all fine Tobaccanists and Foundation Wear Shops.
*Please use your 2XRG correctly. Zappex Corp. takes no responsibility for
injury, damage, destruction, disintigration, abduction, probing, or vivisection
due to misuse or inappropriate use. Failure to utilise correct settings may
result in partial or even non vaporization of Martian. Subsequent clean-up
of non-vaporized Martian components is the responsibility of the owner.
Registration of your Zarkovski 2XRG may be required by State, Municipal, or City
By-Laws. Failure to have your weapon regularly inspected may void your warranty
(consult your dealer for more details on your specific warranty: Certain
jurisdictions may have bylaws restricting your warranty period.)
** Note that Zarkovski 2XRG Anti-Martian Ray Gun Units are not meant to be used
upon Jovians or Venusians. This activity may result in merely angering the said
entity. Please see our brochure for the appropriate unit to be used against
other extraterrestrial forces. Thank you for considering Zappex Corp. for your
household defensive measures.
images below to see larger images
Okay, lighten up Francis, it's just a joke! There are no real Martians landing nearby. I do not advocate the senseless vaporization of innocent extraterrestrials, unless they have been seen to be hostile, in which case, fire away!
The "gun" is constructed from a variety of acrylic spheres, plastic tubing, and 1 of those clear plastic balls that craft stores sell. The ball pops in half so you can fill it with craft things. It forms the end caps of the main body. @ acrylic "grapes" make the barrel, and the rivets are actually one of the smaller "googly" eyes sold in craft stores. On a quite noght, when you shake the box, you can hear all the little eyes rattling! Other greeblies
are various beads, acrylic and wooden. Overall, the gun was painted Metaliser Gun Metal. The handle and trigger come from an old Regular 8 mm movie camera, and is what inspired the whole idea. The box is made from a wooden toy that I found in a thrift store, and was missing most of it's parts. The front covering is actually sheet plastic (so breaking it would be kind of tough) and the "In Case of Martians" letters are a sticky letter available in art and drafting supply stores. The Zarkovski label is Letraset applied over Bare Metal Foil. I likely spent $40.00 on supplies and about 10 hours in total building it, but easily half that was wasted in giggling to myself. I've done a couple of version since as silly gifts to a couple of relatives.
Oh, and by the way, the names on the inspection tag (see picture
below) are as follows B. Rogers, F. Gordon, Rocky Jones, T. Corbett, J.T. Kirk, and Ellen Ripley, all famous icons of Sci-Fi, and known to kick some alien butt once in a while!