THIS PUTS OUR WORLD INTO A PERSPECTIVE MORE EASILY UNDERSTOOD.

--------------------------- 
Friday July 30 2010

Letter to Wannabe Fighter Pilot:

The following E-Mail originated from a young kid who sent it to AETC (Air Education and Training Command) wanting to know how to prepare himself for a future career as a fighter jock.

To Lt Col Van Wickler:

Sir, I am DJ Baker and I would appreciate it if you could tell me what it takes to be an F16 fighter pilot of the USAF. What classes should I take in high school to help the career I want to take later in my life?

What could I do to get in the academy?

Sincerely

DJ Baker

-------

From: VanWickler Kenneth, Lt Col, HQ AETC

Anybody want to help this poor kid from Cyberspace?

--------

A worldly and jaded C130 Pilot, Major Hunter Mills rose to the task!

Dear DJ,

Obviously, through no fault of your own, your young, impressionable brain has been poisoned by the superfluous, hyped-up, "Top Gun" media portrayal of fighter pilots. Unfortunately, this portrayal could not be further from the truth. In my experience, I've found most fighter pilots to be pompous, back-stabbing, momma's boys with inferiority complexes -- as well as being extremely over-rated aeronautically.

However, rather than dash your budding dreams of becoming an USAF pilot, I offer the following alternative: What you REALLY want to aspire to is the exiting, challenging, and rewarding world of TACTICAL AIRLIFT. And this, young DJ, means one thing -- the venerable, workhorse -- THE >C-130!

I can guarantee no fighter pilot can brag that he has led a 12-ship formation down a valley at 300 ft above the ground, while trying to interpret a 9-line to a new DZ, avoiding pop-up threats, and coordinating with AWACS -- all while eating a box lunch, with the engineer in the back taking a piss and the navigator puking in his trash can!

I tell you, DJ -- TAC Airlift is where it's at!

Where else is it legal to throw tanks, HMMWVs, and other crap out the back of an airplane, and not even worry about it when the chute doesn't open and it torpedoes the General's staff car!

No where else can you land on a 3000' dirt strip, kick a bunch of ammo and stuff off the ramp without even stopping, then take off again before range control can call to tell you did your touch and go at the wrong LZ!

And talk about exotic travel. When C-130s go somewhere, they GO somewhere -- usually for 3 months, unfortunately. This gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in the local culture enough to give any natives a bad taste in their mouths re the USAF and Americans in general -- not something those strat-lift pilots can do from their airport hotel rooms!

As far as recommendations for your course of study, I offer these:

Take a lot of math courses. You will need all the advanced math skills you can muster to enable you to calculate per diem rates around the world and when trying to split up the crew's bar tab so that the co-pilot really believes he owes 85% of the whole thing -- and the nav believes he owes the other 20%.

Health sciences are important, too. You will need a thorough knowledge of biology to make those educated guesses of how much longer you can drink beer before the tremendous case of the shits catches up to you from that meal you ate at that place that had the belly dancers in some God-forsaken foreign country whose name you can't even pronounce!

Social studies are also beneficial. It is important for a good TAC Airlifter to have the cultural knowledge to be able to ascertain the exact location of the nearest titty bar in any country in the world -- and then be able to convince the local authorities to release the loadmaster after he offends every sensibility of the local religion and culture.

A foreign language is helpful, but not required. You will never be able to pronounce the names of the NAVAIDs in France and it's much easier to ignore them and go where you want to anyway. As a rule of thumb: Waiters and bellhops in France are always called "Pierre". In Spain it's "Hey, Pedro" -- and in Italy, of course, it's "Mario." These terms of address also work in other countries interchangeably -- depending upon the level of swarth, couth and debonair of the linguist.

A study of geography is also paramount. You will need to know the basic location of all the places you've been when you get back from your TDY and are ready to stick those little pins in that huge world map you've got taped to you living room wall -- right next to that gigantic wooden giraffe statue and beer stein collection.

Well, DJ, I hope this little note inspires you -- and by the way, forget about that Academy thing. All TAC Airlifters know that there are waaay too few women and too little alcohol there to provide a well-balanced education. A nice, big state college would be a much better choice.

Good luck and see you on the SKE scope!

Major Hunter Mills

--------------------------- 
Thursday July 29 2010

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
 
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
 
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jean!
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-xxx-xxxx" 
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space"
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
 
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN

--------------------------- 
Wednesday July 28 2010

Living in Arizona

May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100°C today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100°C all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115°C. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85°C. I hate this stupid State.

Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 120°C today. Forgot to crack the window and blew out the damn windshield of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

--------------------------- 
Tuesday July 27 2010

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" 

The girl said "No." 

And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing a lot. 

--------------------------- 
Monday July 26 2010

Skipping Church

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

--------------------------- 
Friday July 23 2010

One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all humans on Earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to Heaven. God came in and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on Earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines.

The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1000 miles long, and in the line of
men who ruled their women, there was only one man. God became angry and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were
all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made
me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one
in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

--------------------------- 
Thursday July 22 2010

1st May 1943

To the Mess President of 244 Wing
Sir,
    It has been observed by various individuals of unimpeachable character that Spitfires are making use of valuable dan bouys as targets.  
    These dans, which mark the way through a minefield, have been laid at enormous expense and with great skill and daring in order to safeguard the shipping bringing you your bully, buscuits, pickles and booze Repeat booze. Should the unlikely event occur of one of these bouys being sunk or damaged by your planes, no booze will be forthcoming. Calamity!!!!
    For a fee we could lay a very large-sized beacon for you to practice on and perhaps hit. 
    Should this pernicious habit of bouy-strafing not cease, no further pennies will be contributed to by you new Spitfires.
                               GEOFFREY R. PRICE LT RNVR
                                      ROBIN BELL LT RNVR
                                     C.W. PEARCE LT RNVR

--------------------------- 
Wednesday July 21 2010

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied,
"No peer pressure."

--------------------------- 
Tuesday July 20 2010

Get your mind around this one!!!!
 ***********************************************
The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion," casually, think about whether you want the politician spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:

 A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
 A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
 A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
 A billion days ago no-one walked on two feet on earth.
 A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate the government spends it.

--------------------------- 
Monday July 19 2010

An old couple were sitting on the front porch after a nice diner out to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
Suddenly the old gal hauls off and slaps the devil out of the old man.
Taken back, he stammers, "What was that for?"
She replies, "For 50 years of sorry sex."
A few minutes later he hauls off and returns the favor.
She then asks him, "What was that for?'
He replies......."For knowing the difference."

--------------------------- 
Friday July 16 2010

Following a night out with a few friends, a man  brought them back to show
off his new apartment. After the grand tour, the visitors were
rather perplexed by the huge gong taking pride of place in the living room.

 "What's that big bronze gong for?" one of the guests  asked.

 "Why, that's my Speaking Clock" the man replied.

 "How does it  work?"

 "I'll show you", the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with
an unpadded hammer.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

 "For f**k's sake, you a**hole, it's twenty to two in the f**king morning!!"

--------------------------- 
Thursday July 15 2010

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently 'widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the  neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn.  And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light," The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.  Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north?"  "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house  and  pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that  I did."    "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"  Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.  Why do you ask?"

 scroll down!!!
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> > > >
> > > > > >>> >
> > > > > >>> > "She just died and left me everything."
> > > > > >>> >
> > > > > >>> >
> > > > > >>> > (And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?)
> > > > > >>> >
> > > > > >>> > Caught you smiling-Keep it

--------------------------- 
Wednesday July 14 2010

THE PERKS OF BEING 50+
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 P.M. & ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8 You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You enjoy hearing about other peoples' operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You have a party & the neighbors don't even realize it.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

--------------------------- 
Tuesday July 13 2010

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." 
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"

--------------------------- 
Monday July 12 2010

YOU KNOW IT'S JULY IN THE SOUTHERN USA  WHEN...

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

--------------------------- 
Friday July 9 2010

An American couple are touring Canada by car and get lost. They see a farmer up ahead, plowing his field. The wife says to the husband: "Ask him where we are." They pull up to the farmer and the husband says: "Excuse me, but we're lost, where are we?" "Saskatchewan," says the farmer. "Boy, we're really lost," says the wife. "He doesn't even speak English."

--------------------------- 
Thursday July 8 2010

Men Die First for a Reason:
by Andy Rooney

Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a  pervert.

If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.

If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN!

THEY WANT TO!!

--------------------------- 
Wednesday July 7 2010

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"

 Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

 Tech Support: "Well?"

 Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

--------------------------- 
Tuesday July 6 2010

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY
  
All you have to do is be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
 10. a carpenter
 11. a driver
 12. an engineer
 13. a mechanic
 14. an interior decorator
 15. a stylist
 16. a sex therapist
 17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician
 18. a psychologist
 19. a psychiatrist
 20. a therapist
 21. a good father
 22. a gentleman
 23. well organized
 24. tidy
 25. very clean
 26. athletic
 27. affectionate
 28. affable
 29. attentive
 30. ambitious
 31. amenable
 32. articulate
 33. bold
 34. brave
 35. creative
 36. courageous
 37. complimentary
 38. capable
 39. decisive
 40. intelligent
 41. imaginative
 42. interesting
 43. prudent
 44. patient
 45. polite
 46. passionate
 47. respectful
 48. sweet
 49. strong
 50. skillful
 51. supportive
 52. sympathetic
 53. tolerant
 54. understanding
 55. someone who loves shopping
 56. someone who doesn't make problems
 57. someone who never looks at other women
 58. very rich
 
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU: 
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested 
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than with her 
61. give her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes 
  
ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO: 
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
HOW HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Let him play with your boobs. 

--------------------------- 
Monday July 5 2010

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

--------------------------- 
Friday July 2 2010

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 COLONEL SANDERS
 I missed one?

--------------------------- 
Thursday July 1 2010

The wife wakes up in the middle of the night to find that her husband is not there.
She goes downstairs to find him sitting in the kitchen staring blankly into space.
"What's wrong" She asks.
"Honey" He replies "Do you remember when we were dating? You were so young then."
"Yes" she says
"Do you remember when your dad caught us in the backseat of my car?" He asks.
"Yes I remember that" She says
"And remember he put that shotgun to my head and said that if I didn't marry you, he would make sure that I did 20 years in jail?" He asked.
"Yes, why?" She asked.
"Well," He said, "I would've gotten out today."

---------------------------