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Kurt Tankski Ta 183  

by Sinuhe Hahn

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April Fools Day 2006

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Major Igor Ivanovich was tired of war. It had been a long hard battle  to drive out the German invaders, but it was clear to him that the problem in the Korean Peninsula was going to escalate. If there was to be a new war, he reasoned, then it would have to be fought with new weapons, not with those they had used in the great patriotic war. Having being fortunate enough to test the new Kurt Tankski Ta 183 from the Mikosrki Design Bureau, he was convinced that this was the aircraft that was needed.

In a secret mission, Major Ivanovich and the Mikorski team set out to test the new Tankski in combat, even though it was still wearing its high visibility day-glo orange trial markings. As fortune would have it, the weather was bad, as it inevitably was during the harsh winter, and Major Ivanovich was able to use the thick cloud layer to avoid drawing attention to his new aircraft.

Fortune smiled on him, for in a gap in the clouds he spotted a pair of enemy aircraft; a twin boom Supermarine Flitzer and a twin jet North American F-262. In a flash he swooped down and destroyed both with his potent 30mm cannons. As the Tankski roared into the heavens again, he could see two parachutes floating down. The Tankski had scored 2 kills on its first outing.

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Alarmed by this event, which was kept from the press to prevent any alarm, the allies combined their efforts to develop the very effective NA Sabre with extreme haste. It was clear to them that they could not rely solely on captured technology.  Unfortunately for Major Ivanovich and the Mikosrki team, the supreme Soviet leader was extremely displeased that they were using subversive technology from the former invaders, and not patriotic home grown efforts. The plane was destroyed, and Major Ivanovich and the Mikosrki team languished in a Siberian labour camp, after which they were all declared officially insane. As such, no record exists of this remarkable feat which served to change the face of modern aerial warfare.

Sinuhe

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Photos and text by Sinuhe Hahn

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